Back off, June

Holy shit, June. Seriously. Stop it.

So, surprise wisdom tooth removal is probably the worst surprise I've ever gotten. For realsies. It kinda ruined my whole week. Pretty sure surprises are supposed to be awesome and NOT make shit all, shitty.

Also, WHO DUMPS SOMEONE OVER THE PHONE? C'mon. We're supposed to be adults, right? I mean, I've gotten worse. When I was 21 I got dumped via Text. On Easter. That was fun. 24, dumped via email. That got awkward when I didn't check my email for a few days.. But, I mean, Come on. THIS close to being 30, and I get the "there's someone else" speech via speakerphone? What the shit? So. After some discussion, I have come up with a list of ways I'd rather be broken up with. And they arrrre;

• Radio dedication during Slow Jam Sunday
• Sky writer
• Goodyear blimp message during a football game
• Singing messenger
• Candy-gram
• Cardboard sign in the background of the Today show
• IN PERSON
• Craigslist missed connections. I read that shit Religiously
• In a bouncy castle
• At Disneyland, but before I get drunk at the ESPN bar
• While running away from Velociraptors
• Go to the store to "get a pack of smokes" and never come back
• Statler and Woldorf joking about it after a shitty Muppet sketch
• During a shitty drunk toast
• Acoustic song at Open Mic night
• Shark week
• In a room full of puppies. Soft, soft puppies.

Yeah. So, Fuck you Chr person who shall remain unnamed. You could've done So much better. I hope you get herpes.

<3 <3 Kthxbye!